With Halloween just recently behind us, in my mind, the holidays are now officially in full swing. For me, Halloween has always signified the start of the holiday season. Which, in my work life, also signifies the start of an increasing theme in sessions about family dynamics, patterns in family of origin, and patterns of relationships that deeply impact us, setting boundaries, and having clear communication, just to name a few.

Don’t get me wrong, these are ever present in sessions, but nothing quite like the holiday season to bring them front and center.

As you can imagine, and have probably experienced yourself, the holidays are full of various emotions; excitement, stress, nostalgia, loneliness, appreciation, joy, sorrow, overwhelm and love to throw a few out there. Since the holiday season can bring up such dynamic emotions, sadly, there is not a one size fits all holiday survival guide that I can offer you today. Trust me, I wish I could. There are however, a few general ideas that I speak of often in my sessions around this time of year. I like to say that a “good” holiday season can start with you, so here goes.

1. Allow emotions to just be present. I understand how hard this can be, and I don’t take this lightly. In a pinch, just know that you literally don’t have to do anything to change an emotion and it will naturally change and shift on its own. The “suffering” with emotions happens when we hang on to them, turn them over in our mind to try to find the solution to stop experiencing it, or work really hard to push them down and distract ourselves so we don’t have to feel them at all. Hint: this does not work. The actual work here is to name the emotion you are feeling, allow it to exist, and notice if you are working to push it away or attaching to it more than it deserves.
2. How do you want to show up? Pausing to ask yourself this question before we get caught up in the holiday rush and stress gives us time to be thoughtful and not just reacting in the heat of the moment. Trust me, I am very guilty of this myself. Getting overwhelmed and then finding myself raising my voice instead of having a thoughtful approach happens more than I care for it to. Setting a plan before hand and working to follow it as best as you can will set you up for success far better than winging it.
3. Listen to what you need. If you need some down time or space, I hope you take it. If you are feeling lonely, I hope you reach out to someone and initiate contact. If you need to stop and rest, I hope you do. If you need to set a boundary I hope you do with kindness, respect, and follow through, if you need to. If we listen close enough, our body, mind, and soul will tell us what it needs. Our job is to be open to listening.

I could sit here and write a list two miles long about things to do to navigate the holidays and all that comes with that, but for now this list will have to do. It won’t be easy necessarily, it will still be a lot of work, and it certainly won’t be perfect, but I do sincerely hope it’s just one small step closer to the kind of holiday season that you want it to be.

I encourage you to reflect for even just a moment about the suggestions offered here today. Maybe they will be helpful, maybe they won’t and that’s okay too. Sometimes, even a quick pause gives us enough room for our inner voice to shine through and tell us what is needed and that’s quite amazing.

And who knows…it’s just the start of the holiday season. Maybe this is just the start of some posts helping you have a more joyous holiday season, so stay with us.

Best,

Megan

p.s. If you feel like you need some more in depth support check out our library of classes!