I just finished watching the final episode of Ted Lasso. I was so impressed by how emotionally-sound many of the scenes were. As a therapist, I get very teary-eyed when I see examples of profoundly thoughtful media as most of tv/media pulls is in with behavior that is emotionally immature, egocentric, and often abusive or violent in nature.

My favorite emotionally-sound scene begins with Alice, the assistant coach, whose character is pretty closed off, unemotional, unforgiving, and sometimes mean. The scene is set with Alice sitting on a couch alone, trying to hide away from others, tearful after some difficult interactions and being reminded of some difficulties in her own football history. Ted, the coach, is a character who is shown imperfect, and at times awkward, but always trying to do the right thing and giving others the benefit of the doubt. Up until this point, he’s been a little timid around Alice while trying to figure out how to break through the tough exterior.

In this scene, Ted finds Alice crying on the couch and he simply takes a seat next to her while she goes through her emotions. He’s uncomfortable and awkward, but he knows there is nothing he can say that is appropriate or wanted and that point in time. Not wanting to embarrass her, he tolerates his own level of awkward to just be present to witness to her story. And, he just sits with her. He sits with her so that she doesn’t have to sit alone.

So often, when loved ones around us are emotional, we feel that something must be said to help. We may offer words of encouragement or advice. Often this is more about the anxiety of the listener to move away from the challenging emotional situation than really helping the speaker. However, Ted, even in his discomfort shows us it can be done. We can just be in a space with someone, hold their emotions with them, and let go of our need to change, solve, or fix their situation, especially, when it not our situation to solve. Just be. Just be there.

Thanks Ted for showing us how it’s done.

-Kariah